LGBTQIA+ and the power of pronouns
Why is the LGBTQIA+ community fighting for language that is mindful of the use of gender-neutral pronouns?
Pronouns such as “he” and “she” are part of our everyday speech and writing but should be less binding to one’s gender. She/her is also known as female/feminine pronouns and he/him is also known as male/masculine pronouns and are the most commonly used pronouns. However they/them is a gender neutral pronoun and can be singular.
The question of pronouns has been discussed by students of North-West University (NWU) during Gender and Language Awareness week that ends on 2 October.
On Wednesday, 23 September, the NWU Student Counselling and Development (SCD) had a webinar titled LGBTQIA+ and mental health during which use of pronouns was also discussed. The event was hosted by Mario Chauque from the SCD and the guest speaker was Lekgowe Thipe a UNISA psychologist.
Chauque says that people have a lot of preconceived ideas about what people are supposed to be labelled as. He further adds, once you have found out what someone’s pronouns are, you do not have to understand it “just respect it”. Thipe says hate speech, rejections and lack of self-esteem is common in the LGBTQ+ community. Respecting someone’s choice of pronouns makes those who are part of the LGBTQIA+ community feel more comfortable.
The Mail & Guardian has reported on a study that emphasised “using language that actively includes LGBTQ+ makes a real difference in reducing gender stereotyping and is a positive step towards creating a world where everyone is accepted without expectation”.
According to Mx. Hannelie Otto, a communications lecturer at the NWU, human beings are far more complex than to simply be categorised as male or female and everyday people are born that are intersex as well. Mx Otto goes by her/she pronouns but uses ‘Mx’ as a title because it is gender neutral. She further explains “I dislike Ms or Mrs because they define you in a relation to the patriarchy (being either a married or unmarried woman). “I believe titles are earned such as Professor or Doctor”. ‘Mx’ allows her to escape gender performance in a heteronormative patriarchal way,” she said.
However, Dr Jordan Peterson, a Canadian university professor and prominent public intellectual disagrees with pronoun prescriptions. According to the BBC Peterson ignited controversy a few years ago by refusing to use gender-neutral pronouns. He told BBC, “I’ve studied authoritarianism [the enforcement or advocacy of strict obedience to authority at the expense of personal freedom] for 40 years – and they are started by people’s attempts to control the ideological and linguistic territory. There is no way I am going to use words made up by people who are doing that”.
Even though there are different views on the use of pronouns in the LGBTQIA+ community, it is important to openly have discussions on pronouns. Ask questions such as: What pronouns do you use? How would you like to be addressed?
People who are cis-gendered can also start by saying their pronouns first, this shows that they are educated about the topic and know not to assume people’s pronouns. This can be done by saying your name and pronouns the first time you meet somebody.
Cis-normativity is the assumption that everyone is cis-gender. The prefix “cis-” means “on the same side as” – this means that people remains on the side of the gender they were assigned to at birth. Gender is a social construct.
Nadia van der Merwe, the vice -chairperson of campus pride says, “a trend I have been seeing lately is that you make your pronouns freely available on your social media bio, even if you are cis-gender. Everyone should do it.”
She adds that to be inclusive everyone has to pay attention to people and their preferences.
As Stevie Lane a queer advocate has said: “they/them is a grammatically correct singular pronoun. Even if it wasn’t, is grammar honestly more important than respecting another person?” – Social movements and civil society desk