How lobola works in South Africa

Have you ever asked yourself what helps determine the bride price in the lobola process?

Lobola is an essential custom practised in most South African cultures, including the Zulu, Swati, Ndebele, Xhosa, Pedi, and Tswana cultures. The groom’s family traditionally pays the bride’s family with a certain number of cows. Lobola is a fundamental requirement that any man must fulfill when marrying into an African family.

According to African cultures, marriage is a contract between two families, not just individuals. The transfer of cattle from the bride’s relatives to the groom’s family, and the transfer of cattle from the groom’s family to the bride’s relatives, serve to legitimise the marriage and ensure certain rights. The children of the marriage would legally belong to the father’s lineage group, which is one of the most important of these rights.

Some aspects have been altered as cultures have evolved, but the core fundamentals of lobola have remained unchanged. Most people see lobola as “the buying of the bride” whereas traditionally, it is a thanksgiving towards the bride’s family as a reward for raising her. There are also other traditions done during the lobola process, but different families have different beliefs and values as to what they demand during these processes.

An inter-racial couple, Noluthando (32) and Innocent Sweetie (32) from Palm Springs in Vereeniging, recently got married traditionally and experienced culture shock as a result of all the processes that needed to take place, which they were unaware of.

The couple had their first child out of wedlock, which meant their lobola negotiations were to be handled differently. This also meant Innocent would not only pay lobola for Noluthando, but pay “damages” for impregnating her.

Innocent said, “my family and I were experiencing the lobola process for the first time and we heard that the negotiations would not be as we knew, of a groom paying bride price. Now I have to buy my son’s surname in order for him to be known as Sweetie both traditionally and legally”.

Moses Mabena, traditional healer from Palm Springs in Vereeniging who holds ancestral ceremonies for lobola negotiations said, “I need to perform the baby’s spiritual introduction to his rightful ancestors, and the only way for them to accept him is for the father to pay for his surname so that all protection and guidance is directed and felt by the right person”. Mabena said that that is a crucial moment because the family is introduced as a unit.

For a homosexual Sepedi couple, things are a bit different. The married couple, Lindiwe Mekgwa (28) and Queen Mekgwa (30) from Vanderbijlpark, decided that Lindiwe’s family would be the one receiving the bride price. Queen continued to say, “I spoke to the parents and informed them and then decided on the date for the lobola. Because, traditionally, a man pays lobola to the wife’s family. I wanted to follow tradition and get married like any other couple,” Queen said.

“We went through the entire process as if we were a heterosexual couple. The biggest reason was that, if we didn’t do it this way, most people wouldn’t respect our marriage when it came to African traditions and customs. It wouldn’t command the same kind of respect as a heterosexual marriage,” Lindiwe added.

John Mokoena (57), a lobola expert from Vanderbijlpark, said, “the lobola charge from Queen is charged as if she were male. The fact that she is a woman does not mean the lobola process is quite simple. Customary laws always apply no matter the gender of the person paying price. Culture has been modernised these days but aspects like lobola will always remain the same because that is one of the best first steps to be taken when two people want to spend their lives together.”

A report by Tshidi Malete in the legal journal De Rebus demonstrates the significance of lobola as a customary legal practice according to South African law. It also says that the courts are still grappling with this customary practice, and this is often illustrated in cases where litigants request the courts to make declarations regarding the existence and validity of a marriage.

Lobola in these times can be accepted as a form of cash or as gifts. The customary practice is hinged on building a life-long relationship between the bride’s and groom’s family. However, the good thing about it all is that even after the death of the groom, the bride is bound to his family forever.

Another report by Lungelo Mokoena on a legal website also highlighted the requirements for a valid customary marriage. It states that the lobola must be fixed, the marriage must be negotiated, celebrated and concluded in terms of the customary law. She also says that the parties must be competent to marry each other, meaning that they must not be blood relatives.

Irrespective of the number of cows demanded by the bride’s family and the legal aspects of lobola, there are a few other factors to consider which also determine the price to be paid by the groom’s family. Factors such as the bride’s level of education, age, previous relationships, how many children she has, the social status of her family, and whether she can cook or not, are considered part of the negotiations.

Alternatively, developers have come up with a lobola calculator app that has recently taken South Africa by storm. The app combines the tradition of lobola and today’s digitally driven system in a fun way. It is designed to help prospective husbands determine the amount of money they would have to pay for the woman they intend on marrying.

The requirements of this application include the bride’s weight, height and waist size. These requirements are entered into the calculator, which then reveals the number of cows it would cost the groom to want to marry her. The calculator also serves as a fun guideline for those planning on having a traditional customary marriage. In different cultures, other factors would be considered, such as the bride’s salary, her ability to perform domestic duties such as fetching water by the river, and whether or not she is a royal princess or a commoner.

As an experiment, threestreamsmedia journalists downloaded the app to see how much lobola their families would charge to their potential suitors. According to the app, after examining all aspects and requirements, the estimated cost that their families could ask for is R60 000 in total for both journalist’s lobola. This is equivalent to nine real cows. – By Lehlohonolo Nkhumishe and Nthabiseng Masango